What’s the difference between those who seem to have everything you want, and you?
Whether it’s more energy, more money, more time, or anything else, the difference often comes down to self-identity. In this essay I’ll share how to make it work in your favor, instead of against you.
It’s does not require any special skills and you should start doing it right away.
The way we approach change is backward.
I used to think that in order to get different results in life, I needed to do different things.
For instance, if you want to lose weight, you’d go on a diet, go to the gym, and start sleeping better, right? But, if we all know the formula to lose weight, how come so many people fail at it?
The reason is simple: self-identity.
When you just focus on doing new things but keep your old identity, you revert back to it as soon as your willpower fades. In order to make lasting change, you must start by being the new identity and then the doing will take care of itself.
Jim Fortin calls this BE-DO-HAVE, and it is the foundation of his transformational coaching.
Allow me to share with you this sentence I wrote in one of my old journals from 2015 when I was reflecting about my health at the time –which I wasn’t particularly happy with:
“When I have more money, I’ll be able to grocery shop and cook at home so I’ll be healthier.”
The problem with my strategy was waiting to have money, in order to do something (cook at home), before I could be healthy (what I wanted)! Do you see how it’s backward? But we all do it.
It’s why, when you seek out advice, you ask “what should I do?” , when the better question is: “who should I become?”
How to use BE-DO-HAVE in your favor
- Choose the goal you wish to achieve.
- Identify the kind of person for whom that goal is a reality. For example, if you want to make more money, identify a person who makes the kind of money you wish to make.
- Start acting and behaving like this new person.
That’s it. Seriously, it’s that simple.