Setting realistic goals is a waste of time.
Sure, it feels good to "reach" the goal but, will it stick? There's a reason why more than 80% of people who drop 10-20 pounds put them back (and then some!) in 18 months or less… And it all has to do with identity.
Identity is the secret to achieving unrealistic goals.
You don't reach goals. You grow into them.
For example, there are people who go to the gym. And people who don't.
People who don't, have at one point or another set the goal of going to the gym. Some of them go for a few days. Some go for a few weeks.
Almost none of them go for a few months or longer.
Become the person for whom the goal is realistic
Instead of setting the goal of going to the gym 5x per week (which is a doing goal), set the goal of being the person who works out (which is a being goal).
In the first one, you can force yourself to go to the gym once. Twice. Maybe for an entire week. But as soon as the weather is bad, you have a late-night or you just don't feel like it, you miss a day.
And you feel bad about it, decide it's not the right goal, and give up.
But when you decide to become a person who works out, you begin doing all the things that this new person does.
You go to bed earlier. You set up your workout clothes the night before. You make healthier food choices. You surround yourself with healthier people.
And if you miss a day?
No problem. You go in the following day. Because that's what a person who works out does.
So how to grow into your unrealistic goals?
Ask yourself: WHO is the person for whom this goal is realistic?
And then show up every day as that person. It's that simple.